How to Have the Perfect Valentine's Day While Single

Step One: In the days leading up to Valentine’s Day, compile a list of all the places that couples might be frequenting. Make a dinner reservation with a party of one so you can watch all the happy couples eating their pasta Lady and the Tramp style. 

Step Two: Tell all your non-single friends in advance to talk about their Valentines all day. Bonus points if they brag about their overpriced flowers. 

Step Three: The moment you wake up on the 14th, open Instagram and see everyone posting about their significant other. Feeling a pang of sadness as you see all the happy couples on your feed is just the way to start off the ideal Valentine’s Day. 

Step Four: Listen to love songs on repeat all day. Find songs about being deeply in love so that you can be reminded of how insignificant you are.

Step Five: Long for some chocolate, preferably the disgusting kind in a massive heart shaped cardboard box, because everyone knows that disgust is the best sentiment to have towards a significant other.

Step Six: Sit at home watching romcoms by yourself all night. As you fall asleep, sink into dreams of loneliness, knowing deep in your heart that you’ll repeat these steps every year for many Valentine’s Days to come.