Halloween is the Most BOOring Holiday

Halloween is fun in theory, sure, but in practice it's the worst holiday. I could think of a plethora of reasons this is true, but just three will suffice.

1. It's lackluster. The moms in your neighborhood won't be giving you candy anymore, so you’re stuck sitting on your couch eating the candy you bought yourself. If you do decide to go trick or treating you'll be out at 6:30, when the sun hasn't even set yet. Not very scary at all.

2. It's wasteful. The socks that grandma got you are re-wearable, but will you ever re-wear the random piece of plastic you bought off Amazon for your costume? Probably not.

3. The entire holiday is a satirization of serious topics. A 5-year-old dressed up as a serial killer is not funny or cute.